In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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