i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
