Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
