Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
