Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
