So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
