Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
