he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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