We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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