We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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