I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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