I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
