Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
