it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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