he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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