So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
did i walk over a car last night?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
