Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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