You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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