we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
