I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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