didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
