I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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