Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
