I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
