if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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