Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
