i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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