I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't deserve a penis
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize