Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
