I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
