I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
