Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
