I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
