we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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