i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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