I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
