YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize