You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
