Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
