How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
