i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She bit a glass in half.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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