I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
