I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
