Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
