I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize