i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
