Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize