omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
