ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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