What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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