your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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