Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize