im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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