She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
