we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
