Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
