She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
