finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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