love makes seman taste better
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize
