If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
