You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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