i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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