the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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