Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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