If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
