idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
