Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
