I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
