I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
