I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
